27 thoughts every girl has around 'that time of the month'

This is possibly a bit TMI, or I'm about to let the whole world know I am bat shit crazy for one week of every month. Either way I hope you enjoy and can identify with some or all of these things...

1. Ergh I'm so bloated today

2. Have I put on weight? Should maybe stop eating all the hob nobs at work

3. On the plus side though my boobs look bigger, maybe they've grown?

4. Oh god i'm just fat and now no one will fancy me.

5. *books 10 bootcamp classes*

6. Oh good, I'm really glad three crater-sized mega spots have appeared on my face just in time for the weekend

7. Why has my boyfriend not replied for 30 minutes? He must be questioning our relationship and about to dump me imminently.

8. Wait he's texted back, but he's only put two kisses instead of five. What a nob.

9. Oh jeez, why am I such a mental bint? Must reply again with 'xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx' so he knows I love him really

11. Now I look weird because I've just triple texted him with all my multiple personalities in the space of five minutes.

12. Why does my stomach hur-? Ohhh...

13. Somebody get this girl a brownie badge because another month pregnancy-free!! 

14. But I'm still on my period. Ffs.

15. Wonder if anyone has any Paracetamol...


17. Why don't I ever carry around Paracetamol? It's not like this occurs every month...

18. I'm hungry. Must eat salad for dinner because obvs I'm HUGE

19. Domino's two for Tuesday tho, I probably need to reward myself for not getting pregnant and enduring this week of pure hell.

20. Why is my womb punishing me for not being pregnant?

21. A baby would be really cute though...

22. Stop it, you're way too young and irresponsible to start getting broody.

23. Maybe I'll get a dog instead, and name it Roland.

24. Shit, puppies are well expensive. I'll get some clothes off ASOS instead.

25. FFS why are these models so fit? Surely they must eat meat feasts plus chicken wings and cheesy garlic bread on the regz too?

26. *Cry*

27. Sod it, I'm getting Ben & Jerry's

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